Perfectionism in kids is popping up more and more frequently in my practice. What is driving kids to have everything perfectly organized, their school supplies 2 months in advance, to have every detail planned out, to review plans incessantly, all the while still having thoughts and behaviors related to anxiety? Kids take on perfectionism, either from outsides sources or themselves, for many different reasons, and can begin at a very early age.
Perfectionism can be several things, such as a fear of being criticized, a fear of inadequacy, to ensure expectedness, routine, and familiarity, to avoid unwanted outcomes, or to protect from unexpected outcomes. Having the desire to be prepared and organized can be a beautiful thing, as it serves us well in many functional ways, but when it controls all decision-making, stifles creativity, or paralyzes taking action, a shift is in need.
If we can empower kids to break the fear of failure, to have resilience, to show that mistakes are natural, and to see mistakes as opportunities to grow, then kids can have a more positive exerience every day, without the unneccesary pressure and anxiety that is distracting and joyless. A mistake is just an event that happened differently from what you expected. Perfection does not equate to happiness, we are just under the illusion that it should.
Intu It works with kids to empower them with resilience, coping strategies, and a more functional outlook on mistakes, failure, and unexpected outcomes so that kids can embrace being imperfectly perfect. :)